I should be listening to my pre-made Drop playlist featuring the soothing tunes of Elbow, and predictably included in every I've-got-the-sadz playlist, Pink Floyd's Comfortably Numb. Certainly, let's not listen to Korn, or System Of A Down, and stay away from the likes of Pantera. You're right or is that I'm right? So, I just went for some Death Angel- album "The Evil Divide" instead. I met those tall fuckers in a literal crazy place, know me well enough I may just share. However, back to self care-that would be the responsible good, self-soothing task to take care of myself. The epitome of a good, responsible, sensible, play partner; self-servicing sub, self-caring sub or do-it-yourself sub aftercare. Quick to start. Very little care but the easy to accelerate trade off is often maintenance. I do and have self-soothed. For what. So I gently settle my self while my dropping hormones continue to drop? Self-soothe. Is fucking funny to me right at this moment. Sounds funny, silly alliteration or a subject. Sub subject, or subject the sub; no that's object or I object the sub objecting. In my head, in the dark corner, an image weeping in a darker corner self-soothing, thumb sucking wailing because of dropping hormones. A chemical reaction received from playing with ones that can easily accelerate me. A few minutes (well okay maybe with one of those players it's a bit longer) of an awesome high and a day or two later I'm coming down from the cum. Tired of self-servicing. You've met me right? 8 years now. Touch hunger? You have no idea. I will still drop regardless of self-care or care by anyone else. This time fuck the meditation. Fuck coloring. Fuck the soothing Tibetan bowls. Fuck the warm shower, fuck crying in that warm shower. Fuck the calming music. Ease for what? Aftercare for whom? For me? Maybe sometimes I don't want to self-soothe or soothe; this time would be a perfect fit for a slightly sadistic Dom. Meet my masochistic side. Just before I completely hit bottom, I get a bottom hit and my chemical high returns. Then just maybe, that's the time when I will readily self-soothe or just fucking edge that drop for a bit. I have no fucking clue, so I continue to self-educate. Until the flip~ new playlist: Fuk. U drop. I made a new Drop playist, "Fuk. U Drop."
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May 2023
AuthorReleasing some steam. You should want to know me, not just a woman with pent up passion. Oh yea and you should start this from the beginning. |