I knew he'd have me think deeply. I knew the proverbial mirror was coming and likely a real one will follow. He had asked about my masturbation style as he suspected it was mainly clitoral and he is correct. Rarely any penetration. I had an online play partner and through phone sex he had me insert 4 fingers. Even current Dom, I think a couple of times during phone sex had me insert my fingers. I’ve neglected myself for so long, abandoned myself, pussy included.
I recently have been inspired to get in touch with my feminine side. I purchased a few dresses; I now have 4 and a sexy silk animal print skirt. Oddly, ironically or not so weird, the last few times I did wear a dress was my wedding and church. This time wearing a dress feels good. I was inspired by my kitten friend; she's so feminine. I’m yoga pants and no makeup type. I’m finding now I’m a good mix of girly but want dirty as in playing in mud! And him. Playing with him I’ve been inspired to try new things. Leave my comfort zone venture untethered to new zones. I’m naturally an experimentalist but having someone as a recipient, along with my attraction and chemistry I have with him I feel safe having a want; as simple as that sounds. I added the dresses for texture when I cock worship. The clothing I have picked the entire time was with purpose; being blindfolded sense of touch is heightened and I wanted to take advantage of fabrics. But I find the dresses make me feel sexier. Hmmm I’m having a fantasy of running in the woods in my wedding gown and really fucking tearing it up! Let’s make that happen! A fucking fabulous ending to that dress! I digress. My pussy and insertion. I don’t know why I don’t regularly. Punishment for neglecting me, for abandoning my pussy I get no pussy? And is cock worship just a pleasurable form of further avoidance? In my past I was ignored after I found a couple of men I thought matched my passion. Running from them I went and found someone that is void of emotions and passion and naturally I married him. The natural progression with lack of intimacy in the relationship I chose was to ignore myself. Maybe I became comfortable with my uncomfortable self, the disconnect and not being whole. Thinking of my passion and pussy as my dark side, best to put that away. So now rediscovering myself with people that match my drive and play is new. Especially physical play and touch from another man, currently my play partner, who matches my intensity it seems, maybe is scary for me. Hesitant to ‘relax’ and let go. I abandoned myself and that hurt is unlike any other; another human could not do me worse. I became comfortable closed up; not opening up. Time to get uncomfortable; evolution isn’t easy. Time to put a dress on, get dirty now that I have a want to use my pussy.
0 Comments
Cock worship thoughts and inspiration listening to Led Zeppelin, so go find “Tea For One” to follow along, I will hold….
The veil of me crossing from the outside world through the partially opened door...my smile seeing the door opened. Climbing inside...sitting with my back to you, me in between your legs. My level of excitement…. 0:00 through 0:20 of the song….my energy is high 0:21-0:22…..I turn with blindfold on to ‘face’ you. I place my hands on your shins and slide them down to your ankles holding them there for a few moments. Taking in and sitting with my senses…your scent, my body eager to get at you for more, closer to the source. Hearing your breath I want to make more noises come from you. 0:22-1:34 a crawl with my hands sliding and exploring from your ankles up your shins, feeling the hairs on your legs, the palm of my hands on your knees caressing sliding around until I’m ready to move to the tops of your thighs...slowly finger walking with the tips of my fingernails sliding to your hips I glide my hands across your stomach my head lowering, my tongue reaching for your stomach. Using your hips I anchor myself in between your legs… 1:34-1:35 lowering my head I use my tongue to lick the crease where your thigh and pelvis meet, gently nuzzle my head down to press a part your thighs for me to deeply go down I settle my body further with my hands sliding up your hips around to your stomach 1:35-2:22...my tongue seeking you out, reaching out gently, making soft contact and licking up your balls...the feeling I’m really under you is a comforting place physically and mentally. 2:22-3:19 “ a minute seems like a lifetime, baby when I feel this way” I want to share this experience for you...I lose track of time when I worship you, I am free to let go of the restraints that time has- here there is nothing but me and your cock; I want you to feel this as well- no time not even a moment just being here in this glorious space. I continue to lick up your balls with the front of my tongue and down with the back of my tongue taking notice how you feel on my tongue, your skin, the hairs...I slide back up with the flat of my tongue eager for your base...the softness of your balls in contrast to the hardness of your shaft...at the base. I slow myself. Dragging my tongue, wet and eager my mouth wants all of you inside...I make my way up slowly 3:20-3:52 I hover comfortably over you, my hands move from your stomach to either side of your hips. No hands touching your cock...just my mouth and you...My mouth over the tip of your head, my lips barely popping over your ridge, I love the hardness against my soft lips.Taking you in deeply while sliding down my tongue attempting to make circles gliding down your hard shaft moving with Bonham’s drumming... 3:53- 3:59 now I slide back up to your head suckling, now sucking more tightly, increasing more movements-stopping with you cradled in my mouth, my tongue still swirling and exploring your shaft then back up to your ridge and tip 4:04- 4:16 repeating the rapid tongue movements while sucking on your tip I move with the rhythm 4:17-6:18 back to exploring...my mouth gently caressing every inch, taking it further still and only moving in centimeters not wanting to leave any part of your delicious cock without the touch of my tongue 6:50 “...slip into days”.....I could carry on, for days….with you in my mouth 8:09 “well well well well a minute seems like a lifetime…” enjoyable to feel you growing larger in my mouth, getting closer your cock pulsating as I feel my own eagerness building salivating wanting to feel your cum in my mouth, shooting down my throat...hearing your breathing deepening….oy Meta! I need another session very very very soon please! Writing this post has me shaking, wanting to crawl panting, thinking about last night...redemption! Please My Lord. Just within the last few months I have been exploring my orgasms. Fully. Seems the beginning of my fet life I was frantically having orgasms. Cumming easily 10 times a day dispersing my seemingly crazily overstimulated energy. My highs were frequent and rarely had I experienced a drop the kind I have had in the last few months; likely because I never fully came down! I have a couple instances I will share one is of an astralgasm and most recently which I will discuss now because it's at the forefront of my memory since it just happened. A couple weeks ago I took the song by Tool, "Forty Six & 2" and had a similar experience with an orgasm. Early this morning I looped Led Zepplin, "Dazed and Confused". Such a sexy song to begin with. And it pains me I do not know enough and speak on music theory to describe my experience more clearly to share with others. So forgive while I slowly stumble through my lack of musical knowledge finding the points with which you can follow along even in the most rudimentary manner. As I said I looped this song through Spotify. Only twice it played when I managed to complete my orgasm and incidentally this song was recorded in only two takes. This is the third song listed in my playlist from my Meta Drop collection. A group of songs that I will listen to when I'm experiencing a drop from playing with my Dom or if I want to ramp up my sexual energy before playing with my Dom. So the first two songs and this song twice totaled a quick 25 minutes of exploration. A couple of instances I have gone as long as 40 minutes slowly working up to and through an orgasm. This was enough time, rather the right amount of time I needed to experience a fantastic musical orgasm! Just the first few seconds at around 0.05 seconds before the drums "quietly" enter, the bass sets the initial tempo. Slow and sexy. I woke up the sensations in my hands and fingers just by lightly brushing them across my thin t-shirt I was wearing. Feeling the weight of cotton in the shirt. Pinching the shirt near the neckline I pulled the shirt slowly up. Noticing the heaviest part of the shirt, the hem at the bottom, dragging up slowly brushing against my stomach first. Slightly tickling my skin, the hem sliding up now across my breasts, fully leaving them exposed. The roundness of my breasts now spilling without the confines of the shirt keeping them closer together. My nipples are not hard even with the cooler air now exposed, I lightly take my fingers starting at the sides of my breasts. Stroking softly around my tits. The palms of my hands feeling how soft the skin on the sides of my breasts are. I cross over the nipples, now starting to perk up. I close my eyes. I used my fingernails and wanted to just explore the sensations of dragging my nails, barely touching my skin across my body. Leaving my breasts I drag my nails lightly against my stomach, across my navel, to the sides of my waist and just slightly underneath the waistband of my comfy cotton gray panties. Lifting my fingers up I use the pads of my fingertips and glide them up from my panties. Back across my stomach. Feeling the softness of my skin around my stomach; growing softer the older I become. I notice the slight indentations from the stretching of my skin from gravity and the blessings of motherhood. I appreciate the suppleness age has given my skin; relaxing with age. Now noticing the tiny soft hairs, vellus hairs on my stomach. I seek the hairs out. The first play through of the song I spent just lightly dragging my fingernails and fingertips across my skin, really caressing and just feeling the magnificence of my skin waking up my nerves through light touch. I was close to cumming near the end of the song but held back; I wanted to take the beginning stretch of my orgasm and slowly get it to build but with the song this time. The first few seconds of the song when the bass sets the tempo, I envisioned a slow dance...I'm crawling towards you. Mouth slightly open almost in a pant. I pull back from my fantasy and drop back in my body I could go on thinking about me worshiping your cock and then you fucking me but I can do that at any time. This time I want to feel everything in my body while I'm cumming listening to this delicious song that has me thinking of you; so I need my mind back with me. My fingers finding my clit slowly circling... Been dazed and confused for so long it's not true Wanted a woman, never bargained for you Lots of people talk and few of them know Soul of a woman was created below, yeah And at 1:20 I increase pressure on my fingertips...still circling my clit.... Every day I work so hard Bringin' home my hard earned pay Try to love you baby, but you push me away Don't know where you're goin' Only know just where you've been Sweet little baby, I want you again At 1:58 I change my direction and explore areas in timing with Robert Plant's exhaled notes, slowly moving up and around my vulva in timing at 2:40 with his stronger vibrato. Continued through the musical and vocal chasing Plant and Page are doing with voice and I want to say violin bow on the guitar. All through 3:29 when the tempo picks back up. At which point I am quickly moving my fingers around my clit keeping my body for the most part relaxed. I can feel my vaginal muscles tightening in want for something needing something to be inserted. I can feel the nerves around my hole alive and awake noticing the air cool around my vulva. Continuing to build up, my orgasm is definitely starting to come. On the build up it has gained it's own momentum as I can now let up and it's still coming on. At 4:58 drum roll until 5:03 I press back onto my clit more left side vulva area matching speed and at 5:11 when tempo slows back to the sultriness I slow my movements down to match. Alternating with slow movements and actually letting up removing my fingers and pressure about 4 times, I now have the inertia to take me through as it's now pulling me on it's own. The wave of the orgasm....I hit peak during the verse... Been dazed and confused for so long, it's not true Wanted a woman, never bargained for you Take it easy baby, let them say what they will Will your tongue wag so much when I send you the bill ...and keep it bumping up a little as it's coming down the backside at 5:58 then at 6:00 my exhales are now in line matching with Plant's notes bumping up with his voice and dropping until 6:20. The last 0.06 seconds I slow my breath and am spent. I was so moved I cried. Being so present to the music, the instruments, the words, the sensations in my body and my orgasm. I don't often slow myself down enough to really be present in the moment, this was a beautiful moment and glad I was really aware of every delicious second. Thanks for being here.... until the flip~ be present Page, Jimmy. “Dazed and Confused - 1990 Remaster.” Spotify, 12 Jan. 1969, open.spotify.com/track/6hu1f1cXSw7OAqhpSQ2zDy?si=8V4A4FsKT_iahU-LQJiRRQ.
Inspired by Jake Holmes I am so needy!
hurry back and fill this mouth I'm Godcock greedy! ...and not just fantasy.
My psyche spoke to me this morning through a song in my head upon waking. This morning it was Iron Maiden's song The Number Of The Beast. Also the voice was telling me "these times make for delicious returns". ...my mind was not left blank, I filled it with lots of delicious thoughts and fantasies of returns. "I'm coming back I will return And I'll possess your body and I'll make you burn..." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxnN05vOuSM |
cum hear me on my podcastCategories
All
Archives
May 2023
AuthorReleasing some steam. You should want to know me, not just a woman with pent up passion. Oh yea and you should start this from the beginning. |