At time of lockdown I decided to learn to play NF's "Trauma". Beautiful, sad song from a rapper, the piano accompaniment was what I was drawn to with the classical sound; inspired to teach myself.
Never had formal lessons; self taught and had to relearn again for this piece. I wrote on the bought music sheets the notes to play as I have a hard time reading music. Learned slowly and by a few measures at a time; grew more excited when my sounds started to evolve into the song I've heard so many times. I'm on a cathartic vacation right now and at some point will need to write this about this trip. But today's piece is of this piano accompaniment. Months later, after finding this song, and memorized I visited my uncle who lives in my deceased Nana's house. Her piano, neglected and untouched for years hidden by boxes; he helped me clear. Last I played this piano was 22 years ago when my Nana had alzheimers; I taught myself Eagle's song, Desperado. I played for hours and she, coming out of the kitchen, would exclaim it was the most beautiful song she's ever heard; even though I just played it 50 times before. I had my house text me a pic of the sheet music because being on an actual piano it threw my memory. A few measures in, the song returned to me and I played for an hour. This dusty out of tune piano sounded beautiful as I stumbled through the song. I chose this song because I was hurting immensely from a 20 year crush ending. Now months later, in a glorious spot in my life, I'm feeling happy. Tears flowed because I felt this song morphed and evolved into something completely different. Even from the origination of from the actual creators; what I played sounded even more amazing. I gave myself frisson! I didn't care about perfection or making sure the song sounded right. This untouched piano was being gently brought back to life from a person, who herself has been neglected for years, also going without touch. The dust of the piano, being off tune, neglected, my missteps playing and our backstory, made this song itself more meaningful. A new story. I'm present for this amazing adventure. From the song: "Grab my hand, I'm drowning I feel my heart pounding Why haven't you found me yet?" It wasn't someone I needed to save me from drowning I just needed to find me- again. I appreciate you for being here. Thank you.
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Throat...
where I hold his cock deeply when he asks if I feel adored while he's stroking my head pulling on my hair gently I'm leaving in a couple days to go back home for a visit. Bitter sweet as this trip really was to connect with a crush I had for 20 years. It's been a couple of months since he finally said he didn't want to be a side piece and didn't want to wait 2 years (I suppose he's thinking about the process of a divorce). He didn't want to wait 2 years. I've had a crush on him for 20 years. But he didn't want to wait 2. We kissed once and it was enough to hold my attention for 20 years. His voice. His laugh. The day dreams, night sex dreams and fantasies from the past 20 years I had to say good bye. It's going to be difficult returning to my hometown and not having that want to reach out to him for a last time what if. It's going to be hard going home visiting places and not think about him. For 20 years we'd connect and lose the connection, I've learned to lose him over and over again during these 20 years. I'm having a difficult time as this is the final time to lose him- I know he's gone, it's gone and likely never really was. I can't have him back in my life. Hard to go back home to not whisper his name. "But nothing is better sometimes Once we've both said our goodbyes Let's just let it go Let me let you go Quiet when I'm coming home and I'm on my own"
When The Party's Over- Billie Eilish Don't you know I'm no good for you I've learned to lose you, can't afford to Tore my shirt to stop you bleedin' But nothin' ever stops you leavin' Quiet when I'm coming home and I'm on my own I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that Don't you know too much already I'll only hurt you if you let me Call me friend but keep me closer (Call me back) And I'll call you when the party's over Quiet when I'm coming home and I'm on my own And I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that Yeah I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that But nothing is better sometimes Once we've both said our goodbyes Let's just let it go Let me let you go Quiet when I'm coming home and I'm on my own I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that Finneas Baird O'Connell Filllltheeee...
Can't help but flirt with my mouth Saying such a provocative word Biting my lower lip While my tongue brushes gently against my teeth Ending in a sly smile Makes me think of dirty things Filllltheeee... The word should conjure negativity But instead my mind wants to enrapture in some sweet sticky sweat producing creativity Fillllll... Fill my holes Fill my crack Fill my mind Feel my beating heart while our nakedness is intertwined Theeeee... covet thee I will cock worship thee take me use me play with me any which way with me but please always make me dirty Good Girl
Take your pants off right now and touch your pussy Edging Porn sharing Porn watching Teasing Tormenting Do you want to cum tonight? Soon you will get to worship my cock I have a surprise for you.... His voice. Tells me dirty joyful things. The sound of his voice makes me want dirty joyful things. His voice. Words Dirty words become sexy sounds making me float Directing Losing myself Permission to cum Only He wants to hear me My cumming voice Phone sex Rejoice |
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May 2023
AuthorReleasing some steam. You should want to know me, not just a woman with pent up passion. Oh yea and you should start this from the beginning. |