I don't know where to put this but I want it out of my head. Today's mantra, "My heart has what I need to feel joy of love, here and now." Miscommunication. Not listening. Assumptions. It's been made clear to me I was to read someone else's enthusiasm levels or lack thereof and understand their need. Clearly this is a mistake to have someone else guess a need through their reaction or lack of. Instead of me seeing this just as a mistake and having them clarify I emotionally reacted.
I'm hurting- because of my hurt it rippled out from me and I do not want to be this for another, towards another human that is working on there stuff; cause suffering. Today no thoughts of fictional futures or false memories; today just prayers staying present, chanting. My body has been hurting, my heart has been heavy and my mind has been suffering. I'm done. I am my beginning. I am my end. I am. Here. Just for today.
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May 2023
AuthorReleasing some steam. You should want to know me, not just a woman with pent up passion. Oh yea and you should start this from the beginning. |