"I Can't Quit You Baby" Led Zeppelin
Wide awake at 3 am. I promised myself, if I went back to sleep just for a few more hours I could still get up early to write. I had so many thoughts swimming in my head. Mainly about this D/s process. I had gotten a handful of potentials and knocked it down to four and more recently it's now down to just two. I thought initially, since I'm new to this lifestyle, I would most definitely just want one Dom. Thinking I needed my focus and energy to be readily receptive to him at anytime. The two I now have I believe may work nicely. They are quite different in style. I am learning they are very different in the getting to know you phase and the trial process. Dom "A" he is more readily available with his time, he responds quickly, and I feel he really is deep diving to know and understand me. He's certainly studying me. That in of it's self is fucking hot. I'm a people watcher and I've got an exhibitionist in me somewhere so I'm for certain watching him watch me. Still not knowing too much about D/s relations, I imagine a good Dom will come to know his sub quite well; learning at all times. I feel like the D/s relationship is akin to making a delicate soap bubble. Understanding the ingredients that go into making the bubble. Mixing the correct amounts of dish soap, water and then adding glycerin. The Dom has the duty to figure out what the precise amounts are. Add to the recipe the proper tools to use to turn the mixture into a bubble. He has to be mindful of the delicate balance of force from him and to have the keen ability to read surface tension in order to prevent the bubble from bursting. He then has this beautiful bubble that he himself has created; molecular attraction. Light refracting on the surface causing colors to appear; swirling around the surface with an ability to create even more bubbles inside. He can push and pull with slight movements causing the bubble to spin and move in any direction. "Good News" Apashe Which is why I was from the start attracted to Dom "A" and ready to single him out. He from our initial messages made me feel he was off to study what my exact mix is. Not only that but my body and mind already had a positive reaction to him. Which makes me think a good sub that has a good body and mind reaction is going to be very workable; either pliable- flexible or maybe malleable- hammered or beaten into a shape without breaking. Dom "B" has I felt pushed the getting to know phase dangerously too close to the friend zone. I messaged him my thoughts and he quickly turned to Dom with a trial phase task. It did excite me but that likely is my sub mind being excited as it should upon receiving a task from her dom. Maybe Dom "B" has a different approach as he's trying to figure out my mix. I think being new, side by side doms at least during a trial phase would be a good learning experience for me. I have asked both if subs will have more than one and basically said it's up to the sub. Dom "B" has limited times when he can dom and he unlikely will be able to talk to me. That's not a deal breaker but hearing my Dom's voice in the future especially since I experience ASMR is something that is important to me. This being a learning phase I can use both either for comparison or contrast to help me figure out what kind of Dom I want and gravitate towards. "Sand Storm" Odalisk/Apashe My head is full of swirling colorful thoughts about being gently shaped into a smoldering sub fully capable giving and receiving passionate energies. Pleasing her Dom and being pleased by him. I am excited about the prospects of either moving forward with one or both experiencing and learning. However, at the same time my gut instinct is telling me, if I already favor one over the other than my energy and attention isn't being distributed fairly. I suppose it being the trial phase I can complete a couple of tasks and maybe Dom "B" getting to know me improves. For now I feel like he's working from a generic template; the same dance he uses with other potentials. Quickly put together because he feels I have already decided it is not a good fit. I thought being a sub is suppose to make me feel special that maybe my tasks are catered to me? I don't know I'm so new, I have my gut feeling but will feel out this trial a few more tasks to see where if anywhere this is going. Until the flip- complete the task at hand first~
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May 2023
AuthorReleasing some steam. You should want to know me, not just a woman with pent up passion. Oh yea and you should start this from the beginning. |