Song in my head this morning, Weezer "Say It Ain't So". Whatever that means. Likely some deep seeded psychological knot I'm not willing to unravel right now. I'm just glad I momentarily feel like writing after a Non Sensual session last night. Also first thought upon waking, "box". Maybe this idea is more superficial and can easily be dissected; something with sexuality and not so blatant as to mean my pussy/box. DV isn't the first to mention something about my voice, I've been told my sensuality is palpable. Someone even said my smile is as if I'm hiding a sexy secret, like I'm fantasizing about giving someone a blow job.
A half laugh from me as I recall, while some women before dates eat something so they wouldn't eat too much during the date, I would pleasure myself. My predate warm up was usually to Marvin Gaye "Let's Get It On" or Led Zeppelin in "Kashmir"; I'd fantasize about my date. What he would wear, how he would smell and hopefully what activity would transpire. The 'delish' was in the details. Self pleasuring was both a warm up and cool down. Make myself cum and I'd calm down enough to have the date rather than just suggest we get right to the fucking. After orgasm I'd slide my fingers deep inside. Take the wetness and rub it behind my ears, on my wrists, and at points at my ankles. My primal perfume if you will. Maybe it worked. I don't know but I loved the scent and I guess my 'secret'. Blindfolded, tied up and spanked I love this sexy vulnerability. Exposed flesh after a delicious spanking is sensitive to the breath of a gentle after kiss. I feel super sensitive after meeting an equally sensual perceptive person. The box looms. Beckons secret safety, but I love my vulnerability, my openness to feel electricity and want to explore; run with it. Come undone. Be in the moment. Not get caught up in tomorrow or the past. Is it really wrong to feel good in the moment? To just savor and enjoy something that feels good. I feel the cosmos punishing me. The box is calling. No more exposure and no risk of danger. Don't be open. Repression is familiar and isn't familiarity comfortable? The safe place, the secure place climb back in, life was tolerable and okay. Keep the secret under wraps. Maybe I am saying, "say it ain't so" don't repress, and don't store away. Don't fade my smile. Until the flip...
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May 2023
AuthorReleasing some steam. You should want to know me, not just a woman with pent up passion. Oh yea and you should start this from the beginning. |