This was from session #59 Still in a high yummy state after an almost 2.5 hour cock worship the other night. I will make my usual highlights later but I have thoughts about my session during this afterglow.
I am so horny right now as I am writing, I can cum again, and will. Societal and religious conditioning really had me always focusing on an 'end'. Lead a good life now and salvation in the end. I dated to find someone to marry and have a family; the end. Always an ending, an end result. Not enough or any focus or teaching me how to just be and enjoy people. To enjoy the experience I have when I share my time and attention with another. Last night I really did let go of any end. It was our second play since his return from a 6 week trip. The first session a few days ago, I was excited and getting reacquainted with his legs, his balls and his cock. Almost lost myself to the ‘excitement’ of missing him and cockworship. Last night however, I was in body with my attention on our energies together, fully receptive to the experience. I wasn't in past thoughts of how much I missed him nor in future thoughts of the discomfort I could experience if I no longer worshipped his cock. I was so fully present, time was becoming non-existent to me or became less linear. I’ve never experienced sex magick or ritualist sex but feel maybe that was close to it. It was a dual experience; an out of body and in body experience for me. It was as if my divine being was recognizing and appreciating his divine being by creating a chemical and energetic reaction with our earthly bodies. Fucking beautiful! My brain, however, is still wanting to hold onto some end wanting to create certainty. So what if in our session I felt a duality just like an out of body and in body experience. But using the concept of time I can help the brain remove the worries of endings and uncertainties. Jumbling up time I can purposely create and recreate the imprinting of a memory; I’m already in my future looking back to my past. So when I go to my play sessions, I'm looking fondly back to my past reminding myself to enjoy the present. There is no ending, it’s me always creating. In play, when I know he’s close to cumming, I start to think about when our next play will happen as the current one is ending. However, as I found my thoughts beginning to drift down that path again, I pulled myself back and welcomed the experience of him; receiving him and enjoying this moment. It was as if my future self was reminding me to be still. Stay seated the ride is now; sit and swallow. Swallow, I did a few times as he shot a hot load that hit the back of my throat and filled my mouth! I was fully present feeling the hotness of his cum explode down my throat. I am right now whispering thoughts of “Good girl” for being and having been so fully present enjoying the experience!
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May 2023
AuthorReleasing some steam. You should want to know me, not just a woman with pent up passion. Oh yea and you should start this from the beginning. |