I had to fuck myself three times today. Oh, and a couple last night. I couldn't sleep, my mind was going places and wanting my body to come. I spoke again with Mr. Pickle a week later. Naturally I've been replaying the conversations in my head and last night mixed with fantasy; my restless legs needed some relief. Was he bluffing when he wanted to see me? Just hot talk?He said he has relatives close to where I live. I need to recall when and where this was brought up. Likely, just a strong emotion at the time when he was on vacation but now that he's back at home in his real world; it was just a fantasy.
I couldn't sleep because I picked up where he left off. The fantasy of a weekend. Which I could do, I could get away. I looked at a resort close to me, checked prices and what the rooms looked like. The fuck I ran with it. As I always do; give me three inches and I will get it to six. What it would be like reuniting again with him after all these years? It would be like no time separated us. The cock of his head, a sly smile and his "Haaay" and I'd waste no time getting to his face. The little details I envisioned; from conversation to items in the hotel room, I really went all out in my head. I wouldn't have lasted long. Fuck the small talk, fuck the-how-you-been bullshit, I would've pushed him down on the couch and straddled him. Started kissing. And those thoughts, for who knows how long it took place last night, got me my restless legs. Now I'm starting to ache. However, fantasizing about us making out, fucking and then making love I managed to calm my ass with a cum session. We could fuck and make love in one session. Ravaging bodies, fucking doggie style, then right before cumming, a flip and we orgasm together squeezing hands and looking into each other's blue eyes. Sigh. Memories. "Nothing Else Matters" Apocalyptica I have panic disorder. And with it I have anxiety tics. Just some bursts of shoulder shrugs and head lifts. Good days, anxious moments are a couple tic rounds and I'm good. Bad days it's tic season; replace my earbuds for headphones and it just looks like I'm listening to music. Lip biting too with my tics, that's a new one. It appears like I may burst from not being pounded. I've been ticcing more than usual lately. Heavy sigh. This music is killing my mood. Switching to my Naked Rage playlist. "Coming Undone" Korn Much. Much. Better. Laughing because I had this song in mind when I first created this site. A good rage fuck song. Okay. So, stop checking texts. Stop checking snap. He's got a mess at home too. Work. Similar stuff I have. Not like it was 20 years ago with hardly any obligations. I told him I've missed him. My heart has. When he left he took it with him. My relationships after; well I fucking basically dated, fucked and sucked Jack Daniel's. I was a hot mess. I may have cleaned up but my heart was never the same nor as receptive to allowing another in. Dumb. I shouldn't have told him such heavy shit. Ahhhnddd now feeling dumb as hell. "Just One Fix" Ministry Yes. Just one fix. Okay, so what if it was a bluff that I had started to clear my calendar for; he put the fucking idea in my head. Now I'm going to fantasize the fuck out of it and stick it here for me to read anytime I need some help getting off. Another fantasy. Probably the end of his sextion-I'm laughing from accidentally misspelling 'section'. I enjoyed myself reminiscing and finding all the stuff I saved from when we dated. Going through the items I really think I should write a book. He's a musician and at the time we dated he was on tour off and on around the country; I believe the longest trip he had was 7 weeks. He would return for a few weeks then back on the road. Back in the day there wasn't 'insta' anything. It was phone calls and post cards and lots of phone sex. The anticipation of his return; that was some serious foreplay. I would send him on the road with audio tapes I made of us either fucking, me masturbating and my poetry. I will have to listen to them to remember what else is on them. He would send me postcards from where ever he was. Also interesting to see the progression in our relationship by what was discussed and how the card was addressed. Some historical cards too; I feel like I should put a sexy anthology together to immortalize this. Who writes these days using the mail? It should be recorded. It was fun to relive and in my fantasy we read them together. Or better yet I make him read it me. Ugh, he's likely run for the hills...Oooh reminds me I need some Iron Maiden for my list. Bad girl. No feels, just orgasms. Hard to not feel anything especially with him. He was intense. We were intense together. Soul fucking sex, there is nothing else like it in the world. Surely making a woman orgasm can make any man feel good. However, and I can't speak for other women, but you get me to cry during and after; you've fucking touched my soul. My vibrator can make me cum but it can't get me to cry. until the flip~
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May 2023
AuthorReleasing some steam. You should want to know me, not just a woman with pent up passion. Oh yea and you should start this from the beginning. |