"Let's Get It On" Marvin Gaye
I've been really tryin', baby Tryin' to hold back this feeling for so long And if you feel like I feel, baby Then, c'mon, oh, c'mon Almost 6 hours of sleep, good enough. I couldn't sleep. It's because my mind was up thinking and itching to write. I have no clue where to start, how to formulate paragraphs, nor work sentence structures. My mind blank. The butterflies in my stomach have been frenzied with arousal. Fuck the flutters. Like a metal detector setting off louder the closer it gets to the hidden treasures. My butterflies are going stir crazy with excitement; detecting a highly prized object worth possessing. Him. This site is a culmination of sexual fantasy and reality, he first and foremost certainly deserves to be here. The reason this blog site is called "B". I melt when he calls me B; for 'butterfly'. He was my work crush. Hard crush. I remember the day I had to call him for an interview. I worked in the same office with my mom and remember the time when she was talking about him she emphasized the word, "married". More memories come rushing back. I'd love to just sit back and let them wash over me, wet me. "Slow Motion" Juvenile However my mind is doing laps and I'm on limited time for me to sit and finger myself on memory lane. My work crush, still after 20 years. The one I never had a chance to be with. One of the reasons I ran out of state. I don't even remember when our flirting started, nor does it matter. I fell hard and painfully crushed when I came to the realization it wouldn't happen between him and I. He was married dealing with his demons. Then when I moved he divorced and got married again. Then came his child. I was crushed again. We talked off and on through out the years, flirted a bit. Even had chances to see him every time I went back home for visits but he always bailed on me. Left me hanging. If my chapter with him was to have a title, "Left Hanging" would be it. It hurt a lot. My body ached. He was the only one that could be my match and had the ability to keep me on my toes. He challenged me, encouraged me and made me lust for him. I think his fight with his demons made him appear as an asshole, but I knew such a sweet sexy soul existed just underneath that gruff facade. The only guy that made me nervous. It was difficult at work if we were in a group together, he could just look at me and I couldn't contain my naughty thoughts about him pushing me up against the copy machine. I would easily blush if he just smiled my way, giving me away in front of others. I feel like our attraction to each other and sexual tension was palpable; I thought for sure we were going to get into some kind of trouble with work. ASMR, man the sound of his voice makes me wet. I giggle like a school girl when we would talk on the phone. My smile would hurt my face. Memories of AOL instant messaging, we chatted one night and he convinced me to give him my number. He called and we talked all night, fell asleep on the phone. He did. I was too excited to have had him and his attention for that long. During the conversation we some how thought it would be a good idea if we just kissed each other and got it over with. Certainly that would help ease the sexual tension. We both took some classes at the local community college. We could meet there. Day of he was out playing basketball and he could run over as I'm going to my class. Waiting in the parking lot in my Wrangler, I was looking for the car he told me he was driving. My heart was racing. I thought I was going to pass out. We were going to kiss. I thought about chickening out, I could just leave and tell him my class was cancelled. As I was contemplating a quick get away, I see his vehicle pull in. He pulls up next to me. I try to act cool, calm and collect; I hop out and walk over to him. He's leaning against his car, as I walk over biting my lip because I'm shaking so bad. No time wasted, we may have said hello or maybe not. He takes a couple of fingers on each hand and hooks them in the waistband of my black pants and pulls me to him. Leans down and I melt into him. I'm wet recalling this memory. I ended up skipping class that night. I went home and masturbated for a couple of hours to the memory of that kiss. Fantasizing of jumping in his car and running off somewhere to fuck. I laugh because I think we seriously thought a kiss would ease the tension. It made it worse. I knew what the lips of that smile felt like on mine. Stolen hand caressing and long gazes continued until I fled the state. I gave him a heartfelt letter begging him if I ever had a chance with him to please just tell me and I would stay and not leave. Maybe his demons prevented him from reading the letter and stopping me. Over the years we managed to keep in contact. We'd flirt back and forth a few times then he was a complete asshole to me leaving me hanging. Getting me excited and hopeful and he'd bail. No explanation. No word. So no big deal recently we exchanged emails with a little flirting sprinkled throughout. I wanted to congratulate him on his one year being sober. I was even more happy to read it will actually be two years this April. I could tell he was happy too. No sign of the asshole. So maybe he wants to really play this time? It seemed before I would scare him off. I wanted to try to keep myself in check and let him know I could be a good friend if he needed or wanted. Also told him to pay no attention to my talk, if we were in person or on the phone I would be tongue tied with a dumb smile on my face and nervous as hell. Excited a little at his reply to my being tongue tied. But this dance has happened before. I would be forgotten by the next day until a few months later. When normally our conversations would abruptly end from getting heated, we moved to snap. I shared with him earlier that evening while in the shower I came hard thinking about his face in between my thighs; he seems like he would worship my pussy. I told him I want to sit on him. He asked which direction. While I was typing my answer of facing him because I wanted to kiss him and look him in his eyes. He already said he wanted to look me in my eyes and play with my hair while kissing me. Fuck that was it. I'm hooked again, however this time I told him how he always bails on me after it gets hot and heavy. He said things are different this time, he's sober and he's promised he's not leaving. "Ride" Slo Mo Ty Dolla $ign, K Camp I haven't been touched, caressed, fucked or made love to in eight years. It will be nine this December. This man is sexy. He makes me nervous, blush from naughty thoughts and yet I'm completely uninhibited with him. He matches my intelligence but I think he's smarter. He's funny as hell and makes me laugh. He's easy on the eye with a body I just want to grind on. And I can tell he'd appreciate my body equally. He'd pull back to take me all in; touch every part, caress every part. He'd leave no part on me untouched or without a kiss. He would certainly touch, caress, fuck and make love to me. Longest foreplay ever, 20 years in the making. I can certainly see him making up for lost time. I don't know what will happen. I know what I hope to happen I hope me holding my breath in isn't just from fear of a let down but because I'm cumming from him.
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May 2023
AuthorReleasing some steam. You should want to know me, not just a woman with pent up passion. Oh yea and you should start this from the beginning. |