Messages back and forth after he turned me down, the conversation seemed off. Less playful, excitable. Moody. Not sure if it was him or myself. I didn't want to put myself out there so quickly exposed and then tossed after tossing. I thought me being a domme would be freeing I would get a few days every other month. I could feel like I was in control and him trusting me would in turn have me trust him. Video chats and live orgasms wouldn't be so scary to me if that trust was established.
"Tell Me a Secret" Ludacris niiice. I told him a secret. I've never known I even had an attraction that I wanted to domme. Always too willing to go along with the guy with fake enthusiasm. But with him, he's so cute, he's young I wanted to teach and have as a pet; why wouldn't I want to domme him? Also with age differences it felt natural. The older wiser one, been having sex longer than he's been alive. I know I said we could still play. When you share something that makes you so nervous to just even say and that gets rejected and as previously stated basic online sexting it's feeling had to get back to excited state. I told him to send me something worth sneaking out to my studio for. See, I don't get it. I told him to do something and he did. He sent me a whole lotta something. I directed him, he obliged. But he's the dominant. I grabbed my stuff and ran out to my studio. It's a small garden room about 9x9, was used to grow the mary j. Ha my neighbor told me, "The previous owner used to grow tropical plants in there." I practiced some guitar to calm my nerves. Set myself up. Secured my vibrator. Readying myself. "Can I get A..." Jay-Z Prop the phone. Cushion. Pillow. Lighting is weak just a small lamp I have glass walls I'm looking like I'm in a fish bowl. Can't have all of the neighbors watching me cum. I reread our messages started out hot. Clearly I'm nervous when I ask him about experimenting with me by being my sub and I his domme. I look at his nude pic; the one he sent after I told him I needed something. Remembering the other pics he had sent me. The ones that can't be deleted. He's fucking hot. What started all of this was his voice. I wanted to hear him. I was hurting for his voice. Was it as good as I remember. My brain hurts. My ears are sad. Even after rejecting my experimental play. Who am I to him. Nothing. A nobody. Just some horny chick that has a fetish for his voice and a kink to domme him. Tossed after tossing. Nothing left to give after a facetime orgasm. No further need to play. These thoughts were putting me down while I was looking at him in all his hotness glory. The chemistry we had while talking was fire. However. My thoughts. Taunting me. Belittling me. Feeling less than. So small. Nothing. Torn. Twisted inside out. Left upside down. His smile. Those lips. His eyes. His gawd damn huge cock. As I was getting ready to video call him, these bullying thoughts came louder and told me to - sit. the. fuck. down. Instead just sent him a quick video that he's out of my league, and I'm checking out. My own inner voice turned into an asshole. I remember he did tell me, he was an asshole. I told him I didn't think so. But guess I'm not sticking around to see if he is what he says he is. No sense both of use being an asshole. "Simple Things" Miguel My usual? pull it to the side, keep it up stay slow.... I don't know anymore. Maybe fantasies are put to bed, shitty pun now.
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May 2023
AuthorReleasing some steam. You should want to know me, not just a woman with pent up passion. Oh yea and you should start this from the beginning. |