At time of lockdown I decided to learn to play NF's "Trauma". Beautiful, sad song from a rapper, the piano accompaniment was what I was drawn to with the classical sound; inspired to teach myself.
Never had formal lessons; self taught and had to relearn again for this piece. I wrote on the bought music sheets the notes to play as I have a hard time reading music. Learned slowly and by a few measures at a time; grew more excited when my sounds started to evolve into the song I've heard so many times. I'm on a cathartic vacation right now and at some point will need to write this about this trip. But today's piece is of this piano accompaniment. Months later, after finding this song, and memorized I visited my uncle who lives in my deceased Nana's house. Her piano, neglected and untouched for years hidden by boxes; he helped me clear. Last I played this piano was 22 years ago when my Nana had alzheimers; I taught myself Eagle's song, Desperado. I played for hours and she, coming out of the kitchen, would exclaim it was the most beautiful song she's ever heard; even though I just played it 50 times before. I had my house text me a pic of the sheet music because being on an actual piano it threw my memory. A few measures in, the song returned to me and I played for an hour. This dusty out of tune piano sounded beautiful as I stumbled through the song. I chose this song because I was hurting immensely from a 20 year crush ending. Now months later, in a glorious spot in my life, I'm feeling happy. Tears flowed because I felt this song morphed and evolved into something completely different. Even from the origination of from the actual creators; what I played sounded even more amazing. I gave myself frisson! I didn't care about perfection or making sure the song sounded right. This untouched piano was being gently brought back to life from a person, who herself has been neglected for years, also going without touch. The dust of the piano, being off tune, neglected, my missteps playing and our backstory, made this song itself more meaningful. A new story. I'm present for this amazing adventure. From the song: "Grab my hand, I'm drowning I feel my heart pounding Why haven't you found me yet?" It wasn't someone I needed to save me from drowning I just needed to find me- again. I appreciate you for being here. Thank you.
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May 2023
AuthorReleasing some steam. You should want to know me, not just a woman with pent up passion. Oh yea and you should start this from the beginning. |