I woke up not feeling so great physically and then my mind followed. Filters I have on today hurt me. I meditated, been a couple of weeks since, and full of thoughts I couldn't sit still. I want to cry but have no will. For today I do not want to give, I do not want to extend myself to anything nor anyone. Today I am still. I will receive the gifts Spirit wants for me to have. I will sit back and let those that love and care for me to gift to me their love and care.
I overextend myself and gift invisible labor that is hurting me, I often over share in hopes of getting people to follow suit. My good girl conditioning has me presenting myself like a show pony to those that I want to take notice. The ones that do notice, I'm too busy chasing ghosts. Or they are used to feed my ego from hurt of others. I feel guilt for using another and shame and sadness for myself for having this need to be seen. Ahhh the filter today is not a good one. I don't know how to change this one as it feels very strong. My heart and root chakra both blocked. Okay then, today my voice is quiet and my actions will be stillness. My music choice has been Book M by Secret Chiefs 3- no repeating words just sounds for my ears to receive, I am receiving this gift.
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May 2023
AuthorReleasing some steam. You should want to know me, not just a woman with pent up passion. Oh yea and you should start this from the beginning. |