My Garden by Kottonmouth Kings~ Mood tonight?
I the last time I played I met some cool players. A few older guys, but actually they were there to play which was cool. I don't know, just not the same Fallout76 when people are so serious playing. Either too serious or serious ass munches taking workshops because they got a few hundred followers on their lame YouTube channel. For some reason being a jerk is cool. I kept jumping servers. But so annoyed I left all together. Then came a couple of illnesses, busy with school, and then Christmas. I'm not sure if I had mentioned about a message from Chill Bill, something about he was playing on his friend's PS4 trying to get his own 'cause he wanted to chill with me alone; "vibin" he said. Holidays coming up, and I had some health issues for a minute I was in no mood to try to vibe or chill with anyone. I was perfectly happy with my cbd, sativa girls and my side chick Kratom. I had no interest, no curiosity. However, no further communication from Chill Bill, I think I scared that one really fast, and I didn't do shit. We were playing a couple of times with his friend, maybe I laughed too much too softly? Maybe me calling him President. I'm smiling. He had a nice voice. But really don't remember. Speaking of nice voice, DV had crossed my mind a couple of times these past, counting on my fingers, nine months! Got me Juvenile, "Back That Azz Up" Can't fucking sit still to this song, slow twerk while sitting fighting the urge to stand up...fuck it...okay breathy now, but fun! Good to just stop and drop it like it's hot! That song is actually on my cardio workout playlist for a reason. Can't help but move. Okay. DV. I had thoughts. For a minute thought Chill Bill was DV, as I couldn't remember DV's voice so possible he could've played on another account. And Chill Bill was low level on FO76 his PS4 broke and he was playing on his friend's playstation. Possible, I mean would I recognize his voice? Big Pimpin' Jay-Z- oh Jack n Coke memories! We spoke only a handful of times, was that enough to imprint on my memory? Wondering. Wondering hard now. As I popped on today, a message was sent to me 6 days ago. Okay, maybe my female friend to wish me a Merry Christmas? Nope. DV. No words. Just a pic of his Welcome Home sign, and my Easter Egg I had left him...it was my real name on his sign. My way of saying, "I was here and had fun with you." Earned It (Fifty Shades of Grey) The Weekend (gonna need to loop this a couple of times) Perfect song to end this here. But. What does it mean? Testing the waters? Even as he ghosted, I had reached out to him a few times during these 9 months and not once was mine a closed door message; receptive. So can't be testing the waters. Or was it for me to fuck off, a finality? Nah, cause he would've just removed the letters to my name from his Welcome Home Sign. My stomach just dropped. It's a 'welcome'? Welcome. A greeting, a hello, to bring someone to a new situation to make them feel at ease. I can't help this dirty dirty smile, a smirk slowly crosses my lips...('screw you perfect...the way you work it' the song finishes). He planting? Stomach is still dropping. Thoughts swirling. Dripping.
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May 2023
AuthorReleasing some steam. You should want to know me, not just a woman with pent up passion. Oh yea and you should start this from the beginning. |