Lots of water dreams lately. This one of a locked mausoleum at the end of a dock floating on water. Emotions locked away. An aspect of myself locked away thought for dead. I was 'told' I will rise. Leaving the cold stone building, so out of place floating at the edge of a dock. I have a couple pieces waiting to post. Even the above Mausoleum is incomplete but I haven't much else to add; I'm sure as it happens 'something' will be revealed making sense at another time. Or just make into something now and leave it as an incomplete completed thing. Back to my pieces. I just need to edit a bit and then post. The editing process as arduous as it can be, brings me joy spending the minutes reading and editing right before I post. However, this place in time I have no desire to read about my orgasms, no interest imagining anyone else's orgasms nor do I have any dick worshiping enthusiasm. My brakes are on today. My easy accelerator is unable to accelerate at this instant. I am all things at this moment. Tangled. Confined within an array of jumbled emotions- polarity of feelings and everything in between. The 'everything in between' is at the same time the polarity of these emotions; the juxtaposition of feelings becomes a blended interchanging woven crux of my current state of consciousness. I am fascinated, and confess a lot turned on even in my non-accelerated state, by contrasts. Hot/cold. Soft/hard. How amazing with the possibility to experience bliss at the same time while experiencing discomfort? I have butterflies currently while wallowing in feelings of self-pity. I have facial flushing from excitement while undergoing extreme sadness from a shift in an important teacher/student relationship. I am frozen with fear of what is to come next, yet I'm running to the next. My brain is trying to put things in boxes and wanting to sit with each box respectively; honoring. But I feel as though my spirit is not in need of sitting with boxes not wanting to experience each individual emotion. I also sense by allowing a free flow I am thus purposely creating the observer effect. As I am watching the polarities as a whole observer, not viewing one emotion thereby in reality by definition acting as a partial observer, but by being a whole observer the polarities become blended. I don't have to experience the pain of sadness, yet the uncomfortable feeling is 'there'. Because happiness is 'there' also, I am feeling comfortable. The polarities themselves become the in between; balancing, blending and being. The free flow creating an observer effect- the observer, the whole observer is creating a free flow. My sexual temperature now? Very warm. Vibrating in fact. The Mausoleum on the end of a dock floating in water- water represents emotion- the mausoleum holds the dead- death is a birth. Inside maybe it holds the death of my old ways of thinking and soon a new me will in fact rise. Until the flip~ be all the things
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May 2023
AuthorReleasing some steam. You should want to know me, not just a woman with pent up passion. Oh yea and you should start this from the beginning. |