Last night's dream, not too much to analyze as a lot of it is self explanatory with items strewn in because of previous day's thoughts, sights, sounds or ideas being mulled over. Nonetheless I enjoy when my brain is giving me feedback or psyche is speaking with me creatively; a code to crack. Last night's was an array of colors, sights and sounds. I feel it's been awhile since I had a dream with so many colors. I remember seeing powder blues, muted yellows, dark greens, bright whites, and pinks.
It was a house party with lots of people I felt I knew, but no one in real life was present. The swimming pool was unkept; needed serious cleaning as the water was murky green with a lighter green thick layer of pond scum floating in random spots. I notice chatter from people in the background when I see a box on the ground over on the other side of the longest edge of the rectangle pool. In a flowing long summer dress, I walk over to the box and bend over to lift the hinged lid to find hand made books and notes. Books with child like drawings. In the dream I recognize these to be mine from my childhood. I pull two books out to flip through. One book showed images of a dolphin and a shark. The dolphin was lying back while the shark was performing oral sex. I chuckled at the image not surprised at anything. More impressed at the cute nuances understanding the dolphin was female and the shark was male. The second book I pulled from the box, looked to be maybe partially finished. The book was obviously sex related; because me. It was of a wolf. I mean a Wolf, and a nude woman being taken and copulated. The Wolf grabbed her and faced her to him so she would look into his eyes while he fucked her. The wolf in the story was complete; he was drawn and filled in with faded colors of black, brown, and gray. The woman wasn't finished. As she was drawn in pencil and looks like she started out as an Escher Girl, anatomically exaggerated. But as I turned the pages, she looked to be transforming into something more of a natural representation of herself. After flipping through the book slowly, examining the images and feelings that transpired, I was suddenly inside the house climbing stairs. I began playing with different musical instruments; the drums, guitar, keyboard and even a flute in different rooms of the house. A separate part of the dream I was having a conversation with someone letting them know I had to step away because I caught feelings. I realize this could be the case for someone in my real life and my ego was still processing the hurt trying to make sense of past events. Easier to accept if the other person caught feelings and had to step away rather than facing it was perhaps something within myself that turned the other person off. And can we just stop with the saying 'caught feelings'. It's not a disease or virus. Control the emotions, feelings are developed. And if unwanted or if there is a need to slow down at the time then let the other person know so they too can gauge their own head space and decide how to proceed. This is how we avoid catching anything or ghosting others. Now for the fun: analysis. The house is representing myself, and the party is a celebration of self! The musical rooms, well I play these instruments and the stair climb to the rooms means my subconscious thinks I'm making progress. The murky pool that I was at one point pushed into; water means emotions. I'm in need of exploring some emotions I have left unchecked. Someone gently forced me to examine; the push wasn't malicious it was gentle. The child like books, means exploring, a naive sense of curiosity. Books mean communication or learning. The dolphin and shark represent willingness to explore emotions and fierceness even the oral act is willingness and openness. That is all I will say about the books. I enjoy sharing a large part of myself here but there are some things I want to keep a mystery. You're going to have to get to know me and even more so be special enough privy to certain aspects of me. Until the flip~ live in color
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May 2023
AuthorReleasing some steam. You should want to know me, not just a woman with pent up passion. Oh yea and you should start this from the beginning. |