My sexual energy.
I am quick to accelerate and can easily overstimulate. I will quickly bring myself to orgasm to give myself a release. Today I have not. I was easily charged up today and left it. Letting my energy climb. Everything becomes sensual. I feel everything, through all of my senses. The heat currently climbing up my back-emanating from my lower back. I'm braless today. The soft cotton fabric from my t-shirt brushing against my breasts easily hardening my nipples. I can feel the waist band from my panties. The waist band from my baggy shorts- caressing my hips as it falls down my hips. The feel of the soft worn polyester shorts as I grab the sides gently pulling them back up over my wide hips. My wet mouth salivating as I held a wedge of a blood orange between my lips. Pushing the wedge in, parting my lips slowly. Partially in my mouth I drag my tongue over the veins of the orange. Gently suckling, pulling the juices from the dense piece, tastes sweet filling my warm eager mouth. Tangy going down my throat drinking it down. Gliding the slice across my tongue, I press my tongue flat; savoring every sensation on my tongue. This is just with an orange. Eyes open. You in my mouth. I close my eyes. I can't fathom. I no longer want to imagine. My impatience is close to boiling over. 8 years pent up. My exploration has only increased my want. My small energy discharges are just enough to keep me from bursting. However, these are no longer helping. Evident by my tics- my anxiety tics had turned. To sex exhales. I can't hide from you my excitement that you bring me. You'll hear it. My normal anxiety "fuckshit" now have a breathy exhale before and or after "fuckshit". You'll see it. My lower lip biting is more frequent. My head jerking forward with shoulder shrugs. I can cry from intensity and a painful need to release. I need discipline. I want to edge this. I don't want to use an orgasm to release it. If the end result is a mind blowing orgasm then why use an orgasm to release a little. I want it to build. Also I feel my orgasm isn't being put to good use; I want to share my orgasm. Maybe it's the years of masturbating alone I no longer want to always be alone with myself. I want to be trained. Trained to ride the heightened state of sexual energy. Recognize it and maybe turn it down a little. I can't think of anything else all day. I need to learn how to harness this sexual energy and put it somewhere else. My brain with just "put it somewhere else"; the visuals can be headache inducing. Breathe. I noticed my foot hasn't stopped twitching under me. I literally can't sit still. Be still in all of this vibration. I woke up wet and throbbing. As the day goes on my stimulation increases. Headache begins. Tics start. I can end this by having an orgasm. I feel I need to learn how to channel. Hold onto this for later? Savor for later? Release a little now and be built up again for more? Know how? I'm open- to learn, to be guided, directed....agh my thoughts again somewhere else. Meditation for now, I can go sit with the energy, but not shirtless like this morning. Until the flip~ channel the energy Thank you for being here.
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May 2023
AuthorReleasing some steam. You should want to know me, not just a woman with pent up passion. Oh yea and you should start this from the beginning. |