Paired looping to "Hysteria" by Muse 90 day boyfriend?
Can I make a thing, a kink, from a momentary craving of wanting certainty of having a person? I miss having a person. I thought I had a person, turns out it was just a projection. Something to help my craving is a sample, a 90 day sample. A 90 day only boyfriend. Our first date is also when we will establish our “conclusion cuddle”, our final date. If you knew there is only to be 90 days could you, would you be able to relax into vulnerability sharing your authentic self? These 90 days we can fall into our gravitational pull or slowly draw it out. Would we be much kinder to each other knowing our final days as a “couple”? Because we already established the end date neither of us will be surprised or have the rug pulled out. No traumatic event takes place either real or perceived; we already decided together our final day as a couple. We will agree in advance how our time together is spent cultivating the temporary dynamic. I propose the following:
I sometimes miss having “my person”, that one I can call when I have a shit day, or call when I have an absolutely awesome day. My person that is a friend I fuck and cuddle. Less of my energy is spent getting my needs filled from others when I can get most of my intimacy cups filled from one person. Why just 90 days and not just get an actual boyfriend? I think having it time stamped helps me with areas of intimacy that I feel are a bit uncomfortable. This way I just dive in. Also it seems new relationship energy fizzles out around the 3 or 4 month mark when realness and masks are removed. So why not just start with realness and without use of masks? For 90 days could you just bare yourself, would it be easier knowing there is an end date or what if you wouldn’t see that person ever again? Isn’t this the same as a regular relationship only difference is the end date is decided on together and maybe masks are removed from the start Food for thought...my anthropological mind is super curious and contemplating. My response to a reply to a commenter that it would be difficult for an ending- Yes! It would be difficult to have an attraction to another and they suggest this idea; but if I have an ad my intention is not a surprise. If I answered an ad for a 90 day girlfriend I would be so curious and go openly! And that's beautiful too, when we have our final "date" what if we suggest we renegotiate another 90 days?! I think having an end date is freeing, wondering, "okay how is this relationship going to fail?" Because oftentimes relationships do not end peacefully likely due to failed expectations, poor communication and or masks coming off. I'm tired too when I meet someone I like, immediately, my thoughts due to an anxious attachment style, already have me thinking about the ending. Wondering when and how it will end, I think subconsciously and consciously I will start to filter the negative to confirm I'm on-track to it ending. If I already know of the date it will 'end' then I feel, theoretically, I can just relax into the 90 days and instead focus on the connection. Also with attachment insecurities, for example, a person with an anxious style is getting somewhat of a more secure attachment with a 'certainty' of 90 days. And someone that is of an avoidant nature knows in 90 days it'll be over. Of course these are very black and white examples. The conditioning from religion and society really has it fixed in my brain still, I should want to find a person and happily ever after. When really, it is okay and healthy to quit and end relationships. I have stayed in far too many relationships with a for better or worse mentality. It is a thought, life is what we make it and being an anthropologist at heart and for the love of watching myself grow, I think this would be a fun, fantastic and possibly an emotional experience! I just might be crazy enough to try it. I will definitely share.
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May 2023
AuthorReleasing some steam. You should want to know me, not just a woman with pent up passion. Oh yea and you should start this from the beginning. |